I have been repeatedly trying to get my act together when it comes to eating right and doing other things to help this process move along in the right direction. Time and time again I fall off the wagon. I have never had good self control when it comes to sweets or should I say not eating sweets and eating the right stuff instead. I am sorry to say but if some of the healthy stuff actually tasted good it wouldn't be as big of a problem. The other issue is cost of course. I haven't given up though. I am constantly climbing back on the wagon and trying again. I think part of my problem is that I try to make to many changes at once. If I could pick one thing to start with and go from there it would probably work much better. As usual though, I'll agonize over which thing to start with and then not do anything. I guess picking anything is better than nothing. Something for me to try. One of the things I have tried on and off is to make a green smoothie. Making on that tastes good is a little tricky. I may need to pick different super greens for one. Mine are a very strong berry flavor. I tried one the other day that had a whole avocado in it. It did give it a very smooth texture but I kind of had to choke it down. I recently got a link to a website that is supposed to have some good recipes. I'll check it out and keep playing around. When I find a good when I will let you know.
I will say I have been making it to the gym a couple of times a week. I have been walking on the treadmill and doing lower body weights. Doing anything involving my port, even when it's not accessed, makes me nervous. From what I have read weight training is what my focus should be. Cardio or aerobic type training isn't good for us. I do walk on the treadmill for a while but I may reduce that and just keep up with the weights. Some Lymies have to start with physical therapy type exercises because the disease has taken them so far back physically. I am thankful for what I have been able to do.
Now about being on the rebound...er that is. The rebounder. I bought one about two weeks. It is essentially a mini-trampoline. My mom had one of these back in the 80's. Mine is about as cheap as you can get. I didn't get in depth on the differences but paying $35 versus $350 seemed like the way to go for me. If I become a crazy rebounding pro then I may have to upgrade. Until then mine will work just fine. It sounds like rebounding is supposed to be one of the best exercises around for you. It is supposedly much easier on the joints. When I was researching a little about it, I found a crazy rebounding gym in San Francisco that looked so fun. Well the reason I am rebounding is not so much for exercise but for detox. I will say that after just a few minutes my legs are getting tight so it definitely seems to work on the exercise part. The detox part though has to do with the lymphatic system. Our lymphatic system plays an important role in clearing the junk from our bodies. I'm sure you know what a swollen lymph node feels like. I have learned that the lymphatic system is filled with one-way valves. The bouncing movement helps open the one way valves and dump some of the junk it has been accumulating. My doctor thought it was great when I said I was going to start rebounding. It makes sense to me. Now I hope it works. I can only do it on the days when my port is not accessed. But I am trying to do it a couple of times a day for about 5 minutes. At least once a day after I rebound, I go and dry brush my skin to get remove the top layer of dead skin and get the circulation going and then I take a hot shower and wash with my activated charcoal soap. I am hoping that this routine really will begin to make a difference in getting some of the toxins out. I still do my Epsom salt baths a lot and I really want to start using the FIR Sauna. I have some friends that have one and have told me I can come use it. I don't know why I haven't taken them up on the offer. I just don't like to be a bother. And to drive 15 to 20 minutes one way to be there for only 15 minutes seems like a lot. I am trying to work out the finances to buy a portable one. I know a handful of Lymies who have a portable one and it works great. I can get one for under $200. I know that seems like so little but when you have maxed out the credit cards and have $700 plus of medical bills a month it can get tricky. I'm sure we will make it work sooner or later.
Switching subjects (which I never do...lol). My husband and I had a good talk yesterday just about where things are going with treatment, work, etc. (I won't share as much as I want to in regards to work and some of what is going on right now just because I am not totally comfortable with it and there are still some unknowns) Basically our conversation had a lot to do with mental attitude. I will say that I do believe that mental attitude plays a role in a lot of things including recovery or healing. My husband is a very big believer in this. We have a slight difference of opinion on my mental attitude and how positive I am or am not being. I know I have probably talked about this a million times so I am sorry if you are tired of hearing it, but I had to explain to him that for as much as I complain or am vocal about how I bad I am feeling that I actually try and keep my mouth shut a lot. He said if I looked at Facebook posts the past year I would see a lot of negative stuff. It's weird because I have been wondering this past week about creating another Facebook account for all my Lyme friends and keeping other friends and family separate. I know a few people who have done this. I decided I wasn't going to do that but that I would try even harder to keep my whining to my Lyme groups that I joined just for that purpose and for support from other Lymies. Then last night I see a challenge by one of my friends for the next week to keep our posts in the one group really positive and leave the negative stuff out. I am seeing a trend here. So I am going to try to do better. My blog may be the one place that I vent like crazy so I am apologizing in advance if there is a lot of whining or not so happy stuff. I guess I struggle with wanting to be positive yet at the same time, get the word out about the reality of Lyme Disease. If you never talk about the bad stuff people may not take this disease seriously and may not understand how debilitating it really is. I guess I just need to work on finding the balance between the two. It will come eventually. So Ryan and I talked more about work and my upcoming return date. The discussion revolved around how I would know when I was ready to go back. He says if I don't ever "want" to go back then I will never be ready. I'm sure that I haven't kept it a secrete that if I could be a stay at home mom I would. That is where my heart is. I told him I would rather be at work and feeling great than be at home feeling like I do. Unless a miracle happens, the feeling great part doesn't seem to be in the near future. In fact my couple days of feeling good quickly gave way to a rough couple of weeks. Do I feel better than I did 6 months ago? Yes. Have I had more days of intense pain in the past 2 to 3 weeks than I did the past almost 11 months? Yes. I may have more days with very little symptoms other than feeling tired and the fatigue may not be as bad. On the flip side though the days that I don't feel good, especially with pain, the pain is intense, almost debilitating. My neurological symptoms continue to decline slowly. My spelling sucks. Our two great secretaries at work will be busy proof reading all my stuff for sure. So basically I will be going back to work (part time to start) in the next 3 to 4 weeks. I have to give it a shot. I am just worried that I will start to regress. I am going to do my best to have a positive attitude. But I know in the end I have to be realistic. I am not superwoman. Hopefully things will turn out just fine. Bottom line, God is in control. If things go according to His plan then they will be perfect.