I want to start by saying that today was another amazing day due to some angels in my life. I received an unexpected financial contribution that will ease the burden for a few weeks. That will hopefully allow me enough time to get things squared away at work. Then I will have some time to fully focus on my disability appeal. It is very hard to focus on getting better when you have financial issues to deal with. God has certainly used these past few weeks to show me whats really important. I really wan't sure that life could go on without Starbucks but somehow it has. I'm just kidding, kind of. I mean when things were looking very bad, all of sudden every little cent became crucial. We've stopped most of our eating out which is good for our financial and physical health. I have also stopped most of my trips to starbucks which has the same benefits as not eating out. We have just really reevaluated where our money has been going. It is a new way of living, but really we are not in NEED of anything. I guess we have never really been in need. We have always been in WANT! Tough to learn but I appreciate the lesson. God has really begun to work some miracles in this difficult time and as I said I have been truly blessed. I know it will be crazy when this whole thing is over and done with and I can look back and what we went through and how God pulled us through. Until then I will continue to wait in anticipation of what He is going to do next. It's times like this I am so thankful for my faith. I think I would have thrown in the towel a while ago if I didn't have hope that only comes from God. All of this was really important for me to say although it doesn't really fall under my title of Flaws in the System. Thats where I am going next.
In the midst of all my "happy" tears and joy today, I was still battling a lot of frusteration. I am truly thankful and blessed that I have some people who have stepped up to help me and my family in our time of need. The fact of the matter is though that I work for and contribute to systems that are supposed to take care of me in my time of need. Why should my employer pay into an insurance company to provide disability insurance for it's employees in times of need when they can deny it or at least put you through a mild form of hell to get what they are being paid to give you? I have done okay with health insurance so far but I already know some of what they do and don't cover. So again why should my employer or anybody pay for health insurance when they can turn around and end up dictating your care. As much as I am grateful for the help I have received I am almost angry that a family with two full time working parents with benefits and everything should have to be in this position. I feel undeserving on some levels and on others I just feel like there are other people that this help could go towards. What about the single mom working a couple of jobs at minimum wage who can't afford health insurance? or the family at my kids school who stepped up to the plate and took in 3 or 4 neices and nephews after their parents were killed in a car crash? I guess I am just really begining to see how messed up things have gotten in this world. On the flip side you have some people that don't seem to work for anything, are constantly in trouble with the law, drugs, etc...and they seem to live fine off of food stamps and other benefits. (Please don't take that the wrong way. Some people are in a truly difficult circumstance and need welfare and some of those other benefits but there are plenty who get it and shouldn't)
The other thing that got me fired up was talking to disability again today. They offered to send me a copy of all of the medical records they received so I could go over them and see if anything was missing. That only seemed fair as I was going to appeal their denial of my claim. I was told it would take them until probably the end of the week to get them copied and send them out. That would have been September 24th. I had not received the records so I called The Standard to get an idea of when they were mailed out. Oh, well they were some absences or something in the copy department so they are extremely backed up. I don't know when your records will be done and mailed out. I reminded the claim rep that I did have a deadline for filing my appeal. She said, well you have six months. I replied something about technically six months to file but financially I didn't have a month from the start of this thing. So anyways...just another piece of the puzzle.
I was given some words of encouragement about not giving up the fight on this claim. I won't. It will be hard but I am not going to let them win.