As 2011 comes to a close I am really looking forward to starting 2012. This is by far one of the most interesting starts to a New Year I have ever had. I must admit that I am a little emotional and having a hard time at thought of leaving of my family for two weeks. That is a long time to be away from your spouse for sure but it seems like an eternity to be away from your children. I have at least one friend who knows how this feels. He has had to leave his family for the same reason I am leaving mine, in pursuit of getting his health back, which in turn means his life back.
Going to see Dr. Jernigan and the whole team at the Hansa Center in Wichita Kansas is a gamble. Like most things in life there is no guarantee. I stand to lose two weeks of time with my family, and almost every last dollar I have for treatment on this trip if it is a failure. But I stand to gain my health and my life back if it is a success. The gains exceed the risks for me. I believe whole heartedly that God has brought me to this point for a reason. I have faith this is exactly where I need to be. As nervous as I am, I also couldn't be more excited. I have no doubt I will learn so much and my eyes will be open to some new ideas and new ways of thinking.
This two week jump start on 2012 is just the beginning for me. As I am still struggling with the fact that I lost my career with the Fire Department that I loved, I am also reminded that I have a world of opportunity at my finger tips. I can revisit the dreams and goals I had that got lost along the way. I can pursue whatever my heart desires now that so many things have been taken from me. I am choosing to see this as a blessing and an answer to a prayer. Not only did God answer my prayer to come home and be with my children (although not is the way I pictured) he reminded me of the things I am passionate about. He reminded me that I had a love and excitement for things that I had long since forgot about. I am excited about my life again and about what the future holds. I feel like anything is possible and I am ready to take on whatever comes my way.
With that, I have some last minute packing to finish and some much needed time to spend with my family. I will do my best to blog about my experience regularly. It all depends on my internet access and how I am feeling. Regardless, you will end up with a full account of my experience. You can continue to support my treatments financial needs through my photography, my donation website, (both have links on my blog) or by donating directly to my donation account at any US Bank (Jessica Madson Donation Account, #153466674998). Of course I always appreciate your prayers, especially extra ones for a safe trip. I want to end by wishing you all a safe, happy, and healthy New Year. Praying God's blessings and protection for you and your loved ones.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
17 Days and Counting
I knew I was behind on an update but I didn't realize it had been a month. A lot has gone on in the past few weeks. Where to begin...Well I took the leap of faith and started acupuncture. I can't tell you how happy I am that I did. I was so nervous going to that first appointment. I still get anxious when they are going draw blood or access my port. So of course the thought of having even needle stuck in some odd place was going to cause a little anxiety. Before I went in I filled out my health history. I was surprised at the amount of detailed information I had to give. I gave the acupuncturist more information than I had ever given any doctor. It was actually somewhat comforting. I brought that with me to my first appointment and we reviewed it before we did anything. I guess while I was on my antibiotic break, this guy had started working at my doctors office doing some pain management type work. We had had a chance to talk a few times before my visit so he knew how apprehensive I was and he already knew I had Lyme. After reviewing my history he checked my pulse and a few other things. Of course with being nervous my pulse was really high. The first thing he did was called cupping. I had heard of it but didn't really know what it was. It involved placing briefly heating up these glass bowls or cups and placing them quickly on my back which created a suction. You leave them on there for 5 or 10 minutes and then take them off. They are supposed to help release the stagnant blood and I believe increase circulation. He told me he knew I would bruise easily so don't be surprised it I had some marks. I did have these big circular almost hickey looking marks all over my back. They didn't hurt though. This procedure was also supposed to help with some of the tension in my shoulders and neck. I have done it on all of my visits except this last one and it has really helped a lot. After the cupping we did some needles. He made sure I was comfortable and didn't do to many because he didn't want to overwhelm me. It was nothing like I had thought and wasn't bad. He told me I would know in probably my first visit if this was for me or not. I was quickly a fan and am still going once a week. I don't know how other practitioners work but as long as he is around I won't see anybody else. His knowledge is amazing and it is evident that he wants you to get a lot out of your experience. He reviews how you are doing before starting, during, and after and makes adjustments as needed. I can say enough about what I positive experience this has been. So for all you San Diego people here is a shout out to Michael at Eight Wave Health in Encinitas. I highly recommend seeing him. He has helped with my diet, and overall healthy living. He has helped reduce my pain and is working on a couple of other issues as well. I couldn't be happier that I gave it a try!
Along with the acupuncture, I continued with the light therapy. I completed 6 treatments over about 3 weeks. I have doing okay symptom wise but I haven't had any significant breakthroughs. At the end of 6 treatments I had an appointment with the doctor to see how he wanted me to continue. He decided instead of taking a break and doing six more that he would start treating me with another type of light therapy. So yesterday I did my first treatment with the new machine. Now this one is different and is administered by the doctor or nurse. There are no glass bottles taped to me. This machine uses coherent and in-coherent light. I can't explain to you the science behind it but there is a lot of positive feed back about this kind of treatment. It is even safe for kids. It can even be used to counteract the bad stuff from vaccinations. I am really hopeful about this. One of the first things we treated with this were all of my scars and my neck from whiplash I've had once or twice. Then we treated some of my viruses, the vaccinations I have had, etc. We will begin focusing on the lyme in future treatments. I haven't been feeling great so it is hard to say weather today is because of the light therapy or something else.
In regards to how I have been feeling. I was thinking I was back to about where I was before treatment but it appears I am not even that far yet. And that isn't my goal. I need to be much better than I was before treatment to really feel like I have gotten somewhere. If you could take me back to when I was about 20, it would tolerable. But realizing that i have been sick for so long, what I felt at 20 wasn't right either. I don't really have an idea of what healthy feels like. I know now the things that bothered me then were signs of a problem even though no doctor would agree to that at the time. I am really set on getting healthy and staying that way. As I was saying, I have been doing okay. I have made some changes in my diet and have lost about 4 pounds. So that makes me happy. I had a little bit of pain and all during my cycle but nothing extreme. Then all of sudden for almost the last week I have been going down hill. I have had some pain, a ton of palpitations and heart racing episodes. I have had some dizzy spells and extra fatigue. In fact Tuesday night I had the worst creepy crawly, weak feeling in my arms and legs that I have ever had. It kept me up most of the night and I was so ready to cut my legs off at the knees and my arms off at the elbow or maybe even the shoulder. That feeling has stuck around since then but is not as intense. I'm getting transient bone pain and muscle aches. I have been muscle spasms at some place on body probably everyday for almost a month. So needless to say I am a little frustrated. I can't say what the cause is since it seems to be out of the blue. A flare, a herx, reactivation of a virus I have no idea. I guess it just a reminder I'm not done yet. I'm sure the stress surrounding the holidays, money, my trips arent' helping. I never know if stress caused it but I certainly know when you feel like this you get more stressed. Such a vicious cycle this is.
Onto something a little happier. I am officially going to Kansas. I fly to Wichita on January 1st and begin treatment January 2nd. I have been in contact with a girl who a has recently gone and has had great results. That gives me a lot of hope and I am so excited to go.The great thing is, some of what my doctor is doing here with the light therapy seems directly in line with what they do at Hansa. My hope is that for the two weeks I am gone, I get a great jump start on restoring my health so that when I come back we can finish up. I get to stay in a nice hotel where all of the rooms are kind of like studio apartments. I have a full kitchen and all so this will a nice retreat to really focus on my healing. I can't say I won't be lonely and somewhat distracted by leaving my family behind. However, I believe that this is where I am supposed be and it will be worth it if I can come back feeling better. I will doing my best to update regularly when I am back there. I will at definitely keep a journal so I can always blog about it later if I need too. I am trusting God that this is right thing to do and that not only will he take care of my family while I am gone, but that he will continue to provide for us financially. Between the light therapy, acupuncture, and this trip the available funds for treatment will be down to nothing. God has provided for us this far and I believe he will continue to do so. In His time, according to His plan and will for my life.
To end on a happy note, I have a new excitement and passion for what the future holds. In fact, I even signed up for a college class for next semester. I am ready to put in the effort to make my dreams a reality. If I don't get to update before I leave I pray you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
You can continue to support me and my family by praying, by buying some of photography, or by making a donation to help pay for treatment. You can now donate directly to a donation account at US Bank. Just tell them you would like to make a deposit to the Jessica Madson Donation Account and give them account number 153466674998. Thanks for following along on my journey and for all of your support.
Along with the acupuncture, I continued with the light therapy. I completed 6 treatments over about 3 weeks. I have doing okay symptom wise but I haven't had any significant breakthroughs. At the end of 6 treatments I had an appointment with the doctor to see how he wanted me to continue. He decided instead of taking a break and doing six more that he would start treating me with another type of light therapy. So yesterday I did my first treatment with the new machine. Now this one is different and is administered by the doctor or nurse. There are no glass bottles taped to me. This machine uses coherent and in-coherent light. I can't explain to you the science behind it but there is a lot of positive feed back about this kind of treatment. It is even safe for kids. It can even be used to counteract the bad stuff from vaccinations. I am really hopeful about this. One of the first things we treated with this were all of my scars and my neck from whiplash I've had once or twice. Then we treated some of my viruses, the vaccinations I have had, etc. We will begin focusing on the lyme in future treatments. I haven't been feeling great so it is hard to say weather today is because of the light therapy or something else.
In regards to how I have been feeling. I was thinking I was back to about where I was before treatment but it appears I am not even that far yet. And that isn't my goal. I need to be much better than I was before treatment to really feel like I have gotten somewhere. If you could take me back to when I was about 20, it would tolerable. But realizing that i have been sick for so long, what I felt at 20 wasn't right either. I don't really have an idea of what healthy feels like. I know now the things that bothered me then were signs of a problem even though no doctor would agree to that at the time. I am really set on getting healthy and staying that way. As I was saying, I have been doing okay. I have made some changes in my diet and have lost about 4 pounds. So that makes me happy. I had a little bit of pain and all during my cycle but nothing extreme. Then all of sudden for almost the last week I have been going down hill. I have had some pain, a ton of palpitations and heart racing episodes. I have had some dizzy spells and extra fatigue. In fact Tuesday night I had the worst creepy crawly, weak feeling in my arms and legs that I have ever had. It kept me up most of the night and I was so ready to cut my legs off at the knees and my arms off at the elbow or maybe even the shoulder. That feeling has stuck around since then but is not as intense. I'm getting transient bone pain and muscle aches. I have been muscle spasms at some place on body probably everyday for almost a month. So needless to say I am a little frustrated. I can't say what the cause is since it seems to be out of the blue. A flare, a herx, reactivation of a virus I have no idea. I guess it just a reminder I'm not done yet. I'm sure the stress surrounding the holidays, money, my trips arent' helping. I never know if stress caused it but I certainly know when you feel like this you get more stressed. Such a vicious cycle this is.
Onto something a little happier. I am officially going to Kansas. I fly to Wichita on January 1st and begin treatment January 2nd. I have been in contact with a girl who a has recently gone and has had great results. That gives me a lot of hope and I am so excited to go.The great thing is, some of what my doctor is doing here with the light therapy seems directly in line with what they do at Hansa. My hope is that for the two weeks I am gone, I get a great jump start on restoring my health so that when I come back we can finish up. I get to stay in a nice hotel where all of the rooms are kind of like studio apartments. I have a full kitchen and all so this will a nice retreat to really focus on my healing. I can't say I won't be lonely and somewhat distracted by leaving my family behind. However, I believe that this is where I am supposed be and it will be worth it if I can come back feeling better. I will doing my best to update regularly when I am back there. I will at definitely keep a journal so I can always blog about it later if I need too. I am trusting God that this is right thing to do and that not only will he take care of my family while I am gone, but that he will continue to provide for us financially. Between the light therapy, acupuncture, and this trip the available funds for treatment will be down to nothing. God has provided for us this far and I believe he will continue to do so. In His time, according to His plan and will for my life.
To end on a happy note, I have a new excitement and passion for what the future holds. In fact, I even signed up for a college class for next semester. I am ready to put in the effort to make my dreams a reality. If I don't get to update before I leave I pray you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
You can continue to support me and my family by praying, by buying some of photography, or by making a donation to help pay for treatment. You can now donate directly to a donation account at US Bank. Just tell them you would like to make a deposit to the Jessica Madson Donation Account and give them account number 153466674998. Thanks for following along on my journey and for all of your support.
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