152

I don't know how I did it. I honestly don't know how I pulled off being a full time working mom for 7 years. As much as I enjoyed my work, loved my co-workers, and needed the money I wouldn't go back to being away from my family like that. Although I will admit the full time job I have now, the one of fighting this dis-ease makes my life seem crazier then it did before. 

I really feel like we are at a crossroads with treatment and I don't know where to go next. I know I keep saying this, but it is beyond frustrating to not have a standard checklist of where to start. In reality Lyme is only part of the picture. That is why the name change to MCIDS (multi chronic infectious disease syndrome) seems better. Even with that there is so much more going on. You can have immune system, hormone, genetic, detox, a million more issues. There isn't even a standard list of tests to run. I feel fortunate on some level to have a lot of options presented to me over the past few weeks. Trying to research all of them and make a decision is proving to be very difficult. Then reality once again slaps you in the face and it really comes down to money. Money that my family doesn't have. Add to this that we have two children that we desperately need to get help and it just all becomes too overwhelming. With each passing moment there is mounting pressure on what to do for our girls. Every complaint of pain or some weird symptom almost paralyzes me and I desperately want to get them well so they do not have to endure this. What are we supposed to do? At this point all I can do is pray that God leads us where to go. I have at least 6 health practitioners that I am considering seeing. There is definitely a lot of information to review. 

With all of that being said, I am proud of the fact that I am really making progress in the areas of diet and exercise. It has become clear to me that there are multiple things out of my control and that I will benefit by focusing on what I can control. Diet and exercise are the two main things I have been working on. The 30 days of clean eating my family tried was really difficult but it was definitely a catalyst for change. We have continued to pursue changing our diet and it is getting easier as time goes on. We have reduced the amount of grain, sugar and dairy we are eating over all. Most of the dairy we do eat is now RAW. We have increased the amount of fruits and vegetables we eat,  most of which are organic. The amount of packaged food we eat is definitely reduced. I can't say that I feel amazing but I am losing my cravings for the junk and it just doesn't sound appealing to me anymore. My acupuncturist really wanted me to focus on eating cooked vegetables for a week and I really started to lose my cravings when I did that. I am happy that we are making improvements and that my husband is on board as well. The kids are not thrilled about it but they are coming around to the idea a little at a time. My six year old is still suffering from low iron so we are really focusing on bringing those levels up. An important thing you may not know is that dairy can actually bind the iron while vitamin c helps it be absorbed. So making our green smoothies with spinach and no dairy (use almond milk) or eating eggs with orange juice are things we are doing to help her out. We also just got a new juicer. I have researched and agonized over the blender vs juicer dilemma. The bottom line is you need to do what works for your family. We have a Ninja blender for our smoothies and are now using a Jack La Lanne Power Juicer for our juice. This just seemed to fit our budget and needs the best. Do what works. We are still getting amazing benefits and are eating healthier that we ever have. 

Now comes the exercise. I know I said a few weeks ago that I was going to put it all out there so I was accountable to people other than my husband for my health. Although I probably won't post pictures until later I will say my starting weight is 152 lbs. This is one of those things that is very personal. I think especially for women. I know I shouldn't have a magic number but I kind of do. I am treating it more like a goal number but when I am comfortable with how I feel and look then that is what will matter regardless of what the scale says. So my goal would be to get down to 135 lbs. However since muscle weighs more than fat, I may not reach that goal. I just want to feel strong and be confident in how I look. So my journey to being in better shape has started. I ended up finding an amazing trainer and I have had the best workouts of my life with him. It has only been a few sessions but I am a total believer in his approach and can't wait to see my transformation over the next few months. The story of how I found him is really cool but I will have to save that for another day. The one thing I have not been happy with is my heart, but I am not going to quit. My heart rate was 183 during my workout out the other day. It is very frustrating but the cardiologist says its fine. I can't say I agree but they assured me I don't have anything life threatening. If I fall over and die due to a heart issue you heard it from me, the cardiologist said not to worry. 

I am waiting for some test results for my adrenal glands and have some more information on my thyroid issue but that too will have to wait until next time. Thanks for following along and supporting me in this crazy journey. For all my San Diego friends, the San Diego Lyme Walk is Saturday October 13 at Seaport Village. Would love to see you there! Hugs to all my fellow warriors out there. Don't give up. Take it one moment at a time and fight hard. (I will update my current protocol too)

Random Story

I really feel led to start off this post by sharing a story. There is always a chance I have shared this before but it was placed on my heart to share today even though it doesn't seem to relate to anything else I have to say. I have learned to not ignore those feelings. Someone needs to hear this. Here it goes.

About 6 1/2 yrs ago I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter. My husband and I had already decided during my first pregnancy that we would never terminate a pregnancy even if test results said our baby had significant health problems. We had been blessed with one healthy daughter already and although my first pregnancy wasn't a walk in the park I didn't have any significant issues. I wasn't very far along in my second pregnancy when I began having some severe pain. It was very similar to pain I had before from an ovarian cyst but of course being pregnant I was a little concerned. I called my OB whom had delivered my first baby and whom I trusted completely.  She said I should go to the hospital for an ultrasound just to make sure everything was ok. We went down to the hospital and the results came back that I was pregnant but I was definitely not as far along as I should be. There was some concern of an ectopic pregnancy and I needed to come back in a week or so. The pain continued on and off and I went back for my followup. We were blessed with an amazing tech this time. Although he couldn't confirm anything, he told us that things had changed and appeared to moving in the right direction. I remember it was a Friday and he said he worked all weekend and if I needed to come back everyday for reassurance he would be happy to help us. Little did we know what a blessing this man truly was going to be for us. We were definitely relieved. The afternoon of the following Monday, my OB calls. She tells me she just received the ultrasound results and I did not have a viable pregnancy. She needed me to come to hospital to terminate the pregnancy. Of course my husband and I were devastated and we just couldn't understand why this was so different from what we had heard a few days earlier. We got settled in the hospital and while we were waiting for my doctor we explained to the nurse what we had been told and how this all didn't make sense. She was kind enough to pull my ultrasound results and told us the notes indicated exactly what we had said. She told my doctor as soon as she arrived about our concerns. When my doctor finally came back she apologized and said she had been sent the wrong results. Everything looked fine on the new ultrasound. We were free to leave. Today we have a healthy beautiful 6 yr old little girl. One persons mistake almost cost us my precious daughters life. Like I said at the beginning, I'm not really sure how this ties into everything else I'm sharing but someone out there needed to hear this. Please don't sit back and rely on someone else for health and well being. 

Well with that out of the way I did want to give you a little update on my new "job". The first few weeks are always a little crazy and this is no different. I am signing a contract with myself outlining everything this will entail. The basic premise is I can work as much or as little I want. My pay is based on how much I work. I am kind of on call 24/7 but my schedule is really up to me. I have a a fairly good idea of what my daily assignments will be and what special projects I might be tasked with. I definitely have lots of meetings to attend (i.e. doctors appts). In fact I have had a few of those meetings this week. I saw the acupuncturist yesterday and had an ultrasound of my thyroid to day. I will be seeing the endocrinologist on the 25th to go talk about all of the hormone issues, adrenal fatigue, and thyroid problems I may be facing. I am hoping to hear my ultrasound results before then because I am relatively sure I will be told I have a least one if not multiple tumors growing and they need to do biopsy. If that is the case, it will be the third time I am facing the possibility of thyroid cancer. I guess I will know if a couple of weeks for sure. 

My first real assignment is to nail down a treatment protocol and schedule. As I have said many times, with this disease there is no one treatment protocol that works for everybody. Each persons case is unique, each doctor out there has a little bit of a different approach, and you really need to listen to your body and your heart to determine what is right for you. Although I don't know 100% what my treatment will hold I can tell you some basics. I am really leaning to toward options that focus on restoring my bodies balance and ability to heal itself. Things like what Hansa offers, bowenwork therapy, acupuncture, zyto, and Synchronicity Wave System to name a few. Diet, exercise, enough rest, detox and a positive attitude are also a must. I am on antibiotics right now but  I am not sure for how long. I have a lot to sort our and get straight before I make any big decisions.  Organization in this job will be key. 

I have a lot more to share with you and in a few days I hope to have an updated current treatment protocol, some starting point statistics, maybe even pics, etc...I definitely need to share what I learned at acupuncture a few days ago and the challenge he gave me for the week. Although this post is kind of all over the place and not what I had planned for it to be, I knew I could not ignore that voice that said you need to share your story. I'm praying that what I said may be a blessing to someone. I look forward to getting back on track and sharing some more with you in a few days. God Bless.